Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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