My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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