its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
