i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm passing your future prison.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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