No stitches, just platelets and will power
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
