I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
