Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
