Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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