Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
