Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
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This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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