the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
