At least make sure they are 18
Why
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
