I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
