Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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