You surviving the open bar?
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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