just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize