Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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