I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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