I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize