i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to make out with him forever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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