her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
