so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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