Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
