the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drake has all the answers
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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