His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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