Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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