Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
