We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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