who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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