Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize