debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
