So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
