check it out our google latitudes are spooning
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
