My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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