you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
