people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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