if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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