when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
