Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
