I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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