We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
