It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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