he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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