no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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