I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
