I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
