Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
