She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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