So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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