Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
