gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
