i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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