Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You took a bar mat shot.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
