Where is the hickey?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
