I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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