Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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