I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
