There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
