so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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