Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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