I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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