i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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