it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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