Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
